omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
