think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
where does the pee come out of this thing
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
