I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
