its not stalking. its research.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
