well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
