Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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