there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
