Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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