You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
