There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
