Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
