I feel like I'm in dance class right now
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
