I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
