I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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