dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
