when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
