So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
