My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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