hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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