she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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