Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
