I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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