I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
