wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
