brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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