I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
