he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is the high leading the old right now
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
