Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
