You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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