slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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