i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
