In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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