she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
