Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
