Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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