Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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