Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
