I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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