took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
