Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
