he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
