maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
