kristin has been a bad kristin
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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