You made me cry and you don't even care
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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