were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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