barbara walters just said penis...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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