Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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