I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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