why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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