dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
