we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
